This is a time of year when expectations are high and so are fears - about relationships with family and friends, measuring up, pressure to have a good time, and more. So it's an important time to take careful care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. In celebrating (or tolerating) the holidays, it's okay to think about what you really want to do and not simply fulfill obligations. When there is too much pressure, it's impossible to do everything right anyway. So you can be realistic and focus on the things that bring you and others real joy. Tactful explanations can be made if you are suggesting alternatives for expensive gift-giving, for example. Or even going on a camping trip instead.

Options for getting help

For yourself:

1. Introductory telephone assessment. Call me and make an appointment for a discussion of your situation. If you do not reach me directly, please leave suggested times for me to return your call.
This assessment will be a time for you to tell me your story and for us to discuss options for helping you. I will very likely have suggestions for initial steps to healing and growth. The session is a 50 min. hour and costs $100.

Please note if you live in the San Francisco Bay Area:

You are invited to an Informational Potluck to discuss the formation of a unique group.

WHEN: We are having two potlucks:
WED. SEPTEMBER 5 at 12 noon, (lunch, including homemade pizza) and
SAT. SEPTEMBER 8 at 11 AM (brunch)

WHERE: 1300 Grand St., Alameda (cross-street Alameda Ave.). Upstairs from Home of Truth Spiritual Center. (unaffiliated)

I came across an article that underscores an aspect of the way I work with people on the language they use. I'd never heard of "Eprime" before but it's very interesting.

http://nobeliefs.com/eprime.htm

It relates to the research on functional and dysfunctional self-talk by Seligman and others (see his excellent book, "Learned Optimism"), which describes dysfunctional thinking patterns having features of being permanent, pervasive, and personal.

Yes, we have an issue of feeling connected to other human beings. And what a lot of ways people try to accomplish that, and not all healthy. Joining a group is certainly one, whether it is a cult or a political cause or a golf club. Another is the love relationship. We all know the pressure brought to bear on that one.

As I try to analyze this, I'm thinking we should start with admitting the need. We are social animals. In a basic, evolutionary sense, we need each other - for survival, if not company. Craving an intimate relationship contributes to reproduction. Needing to belong keeps an individual from wandering off from the tribe where it would be dangerous. I think it's interesting to consider our modern feelings in the light of ancient impulses because our emotional make-up is thousands of years behind other aspects of our evolution. We see this in other areas of course, like aggression, defending territory, etc.

Explains visualization as a technique individuals can use for relaxation and other purposes. Several protocols are provided.

This is a description of psychotherapy and a guide for selecting a therapist. As a kind of consumer guide, it provides valuable information about some of the variations that can be expected and a list of questions to ask a potential therapist. It also includes a rationale for utilizing therapy and describes important elements of the process.