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Relationship Counseling

I work extensively with couples, using an approach that is largely educational. My background includes special training in communications based on a research program called "Relationship Enhancement" by Bernard Guerney at Pennsylvania State University. This very practical and successful approach involves learning concepts and skills for listening with empathy and expressing thoughts and feelings effectively.   I also use material from Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion, by Marshall Rosenberg. 

 
My goal with every couple is to help you learn to talk about anything and everything without fear.  The communication skills serve to solve problems and also bring you into a closer relationship as you share and listen more deeply.
 
A second area of focus in my work with couples is sexuality.   Myths and expectations about sex in long-term relationships can be a problem, as well as anxiety, habituation, and other issues.  I'll work with you to explore your unique situation and help you with activities at home to restore sensuality and vitality to your sex life. 
 
In addition, I emphasize individual responsibility and mature self-care within relationships. I'll work with you to examine core assumptions, explore the balance of individuality and intimacy, and apply concrete behavior changes. I stress actual practicing of new skills, both in therapy sessions and for "homework." Couples who are motivated and follow through can be guaranteed significant change. You can expect improvement in 4 weeks and major changes in 10 weeks.
 
I also have extensive experience with family dynamics, adolescent issues, and parenting skills. I help parents learn concepts and skills and apply them at home between sessions.  Telephone consultation is available as a "parenting coach." This service is a supplement for families in therapy or for parents at a distance who cannot meet in person.
 
In all of my counseling, I strive to help clients understand the context of their lives in our modern society.  We have many stresses due simply to the culture in which we live (e.g. economic pressure, scattered families, lack of social networks or support for new parents, alienating work, no health care safety net, etc.).   I believe distinguishing these environmental and social issues from personal problems is crucial in order to creatively cope with these realities.  
 
 
Counseling sessions are available by appointment in Berkeley, CA. or by telephone.   New clients are invited to call for a complimentary 20-minute discussion of concerns and counseling options: 510-292-0509.
Fees:  In-person sessions - $125/hour, telephone sessions - $110/hour
Financial need is considered and options available.
              
                       Comments from clients - reviews posted on YELP:
 
Cherie T. Berkeley, CA,  2/19/2009
      Marlene saved our marriage. Unbeknownst to me, we had drifted apart in our relationship and was feeling bewildered and resentful when we showed up at her couch. Through gentle, dry humor, she made me feel at ease with the process. But the proof is that we are now closer than ever and feeling confident about our future together. She combines teaching about the theory (in our case about communication and seeing each other's point of view) with actual practice so that we can learn how to handle issues as they crop up rather than waiting until we had another session.

Julie A.,  Berkeley, CA, 2/10/2009
      Marlene is a wonderful couples therapist.  My partner and I started seeing Marlene in a time of crisis and she really helped us work it through; now our relationship is stronger than ever.  One of the key elements of her counseling is training couples in how to communicate effectively.  Marlene works with couples so that each member learns not only how to express what s/he feels and needs but also to hear what the other feels and needs (she even gives you exercises so you can practice at home!).  This tool has been invaluable for us.   Also, my partner and I have both discovered that this form of communication has real benefits on how we communicate with other people, at work and in our social circles.   I highly recommend Marlene!

Lee T.,  Berkeley, CA,  2/16/2009

     When we were at a difficult point in our relationship, Marlene brought issues into perspective and worked with us to develop better communication skills.   She also worked with me one on one and in group therapy to address negative patterns in my own life.   We've come through therapy a stronger couple and I'm a happier person.  Highly recommended!

 
Cyndi C., Vallejo, CA                                                                                                                
     Marlene is WONDERFUL!  She has helped me gain confidence and make tremendous emotional growth in a relatively short time.  

I remember the first time I realized that she was speaking from experience: the same kind of experiences she was helping me work through.  I just thought it was so cool that she had "been there" and offered so much hope by example. 
     

Marlene has a wonderful sense of humor and a way of putting people at ease.  I love the way she makes me look at things differently.  She is warm, compassionate and funny (and really smart).  After our first meeting I knew I had chosen my therapist wisely.  

In our private sessions I find her visualization therapy very helpful.  Group sessions are fun.  I like that we can be silly and that it isn't all serious.  I feel safe and comfortable in group, like I am free to say whatever I need to say.

Jeff S., Berkeley, CA
     My partner and I were going through a very rough spot in our relationship and had already been through a couple other couples counselors and we were right about to call it quits when we ran across a recommendation for Marlene on another website. We decided to try her out, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions of, well, my life anyway.
     She helped us learn empathic communication techniques and work on really "hearing" each other. Week by week she helped us navigate the way back to a healthy, rewarding relationship. I particularly liked the "homework" and assigned reading that my partner and I did together.
     I don't have enough good words for her. Thanks Marlene!

 
Isabelle, Hayward, CA, 10/1/09
     Marlene Winell deserves 5 stars because of her 1) dedication to break our negative patterns of behavior, 2) use of extreme creativity when it comes to solving complex communication problems, 3) extending our couples counseling into a deeper level of individual counseling, so that the problems we individually bring to the marriage don't resurface later.
     My husband and I began going to her when my son was 7 months old and we needed to do everything we could to save our rocky marriage for the baby's sake. The last 5 months have been extremely helpful in terms of lowering the number of fights we have in general and in front of our child, and also has helped us feel stronger as a family and as happier individuals. She is skilled at overcoming communication problems because she gave us the tools to overcome communication blocks ourselves, so that in the future, we now know how to solve these issues on our own. I cannot give enough praise for Marlene Winell as an excellent couples' therapist/speech therapist/psychologist for all the hats that she wears and all the knowledge and experience she utilized to help us save our marriage. 

Suzanne S., Oakland, CA
      I definitely recommend Marlene as a couple's therapist.  We saw her for about a year and although my husband was initially hesitant to see anyone, she was able to make him feel comfortable and it ended up being a great experience for both of us.  Marlene is practical and helps you move forward without dwelling on the past.  She helped us both become more empathetic towards each other and increased our communication skills significantly.